[05] "We are on vacation for FOREVER and a DAY"

Monday March 18 - Champaign, WHERE THE HELL AM I?
Tuesday March 19 - Oh yeah, it's Champaign
Wednesday March 20 - I test for my Green Sash in Kung-fu

Monday March 18, 2002 - Champaign, Where the hell am I?

I can't write anything because I'm waiting for confirmation of Something Great to happen to us, and if I write about it, I'll JINX it. So I can't tell you what it is yet. When it happens or doesn't happen, I'll tell you.

Yesterday I opened up my Palm Pilot™ to look something up and it hit me in the face with a fist of another reality, an entire life that I threw away last weekend. I couldn't believe the list of responsibilities that were in that thing. It really was like someone else's life, ending on the weekends and starting up again during the weeks. I remember that when we stopped touring for the 8-months per year thing, a couple of years ago, Rick and I both bought Palm Pilots just because we had no clue how to keep dates and events straight if we weren't on a strict tour. There was always such a pattern to it, a regular sine wave of what you were supposed to do next. Each night at dinnertime we'd soundcheck. Then we'd eat. Then we'd play. Then we'd load back in. Then we'd find a place to sleep. It was such a regimented thing and so uncomplicated; to know where you were going, you'd look at these little sheets we always got from our booking agent. Life was so uncomplicated back then. (sigh) (ok, now grin.)

Tuesday, March 19, 2002 - Oh yes it's Champaign

If you remember this little thing, that all phenomena are just passing through (the Pope of my Underground religious group tells me this) then how can you ever, ever be upset about anything? EVERYTHING is so impermanent. Nothing lasts forever.

I went to Marshalls today and bought 2 bathing suits. I need them because I am going to Florida in 6 days. HOT DAMN!

After Tae Kwon Do class tonight, where it was so damn crowded you couldn't even MOVE, me and Jane and Jason, my Tae Kwon Do Family, went to the Armory to practice more. Jane is testing for her Red Belt in Tae Kwon Do on Saturday, and Jason will test for his 2nd degree Black Belt! Tomorrow, I'll be testing for a Green Sash in Kung-fu. This building is the size of a football field and it was completely empty except for us. It was AWESOME. We just practiced and learned from each other all night. These are like my best friends here, and they are aged 17 and 23. I know that's strange, but I feel like we're a family, so it's not that strange. And we certainly have enough in common. Maybe someone could make a movie out of our relationships here.

Rick is recording Rectangle (a local band) at Matt Talbot's (from Hum) studio in Tolono, 2 towns away. And the scene continues.

Wednesday March 20, 2002 - in which I test for my Green Sash in KF

I have been so freaked out about this stupid test, without even knowing about it. A huge weight has lifted off my shoulders now!

I showed up at 7pm for my test. Jane showed up then too; she is a higher rank in Kung-fu than I am and so she has to help test me. My teacher walks in wearing this beautiful white silk new Kung-fu outfit. MAN he looks AWESOME.

So for about an hour I alternately get tested on different aspects of Choy-Lay-Fut Kung-fu. This is a combination of Northern (the flashy stuff) and Southern (more stable, stance-driven stuff) Style. The test went like this: First, I had to hit pads with different types of arm movements that I know, then I had to hit Jane with different type of arm movements that I know. That part of the test seemed more like we were testing Jane than me; she was the one who had to block everything. I just had to hit! Then I was tested on Philipino stick fighting, first left-handed and then right-handed. Gosh, this actually sounds kind of impressive. Then I had two forms, an open-handed one and a broadsword one. I was afraid I'd screw those up but my body knows them now so I could shut my mind off if I had to and just perform them. And I did. I made some mistakes but I think I passed. Tomorrow I'll know for sure.

I've been so down on myself lately with the martial arts. I keep thinking I suck. I have no idea why I have to do that. Jane doesn't think she sucks. I had this little dream that the second I became a black belt (in Tae Kwon Do) that I would never have this weird inferiority thing going on. It took about a year but it came back. Now I just have to decide, do I want to sit around and feel sorry for myself or do I want to practice and get better and get over it?

Oh yeah. I forgot. All phenomena are just rolling on in. Everything is impermanent.

From: [matt@posterchildren.com]
To: rose@posterchildren.com
Subject: sticker ideas? tour reports?
Date: Wed, 20 Mar 2002 19:33:58 -0600

yeah, I know. It's my job to be annoying.

or at least, annoyingly efficient. I'm worried it might rub off on me....

How are these for stickers? I hate going back to the SpaceKid™. We definitely need to move on, but would it be so bad to use that for a sticker graphic?

I better get to work on new t-shirt ideas too. After I do my Friggin' Typography homework.