August: Let's see how long this lasts...


August 19, 2002 - Champaign

Now what?

I'm sitting on the porch, writing this. Rick and Jim's mom and dad came down to visit us yesterday and stayed almost 24 hours. That was really nice. I wish my parents would come visit me. They live 3 hours north, in Chicago, and have only been down about 4 times in the past 15 years I've lived here. (Shit. I've lived here 15 years?)

I had some Tae Kwon Do yesterday, black belt class is on Saturdays. I was discumbobulated. I fought this really nice guy but I kept jamming him; each time I'd see him get ready to do a spinning kick, I'd jam into him so he couldn't kick me. I think it's really irritating for me to do that.

It's got to be tough to fight a girl if you're a great guy fighter, just because you don't want to hurt her. Like me, for example, I'm much older than this guy. I'm sure he could kill me, and if I was a guy, he'd probably have fought much harder, but I think he probably is a lot more careful since I'm a girl. And I don't really have any problem with that. When the guys fight, if one of the punches or kicks land too hard, there's a weird sort of anger that creeps up on the guy who got kicked. Then he'll kick just a bit harder next time, and the thing will escalate like that cartoon where the world gets blown up. This sort of thing doesn't happen with me; for some reason my first impulse when someone hits me is to congratulate them on hitting me. I feel really happy for them that they've knocked me down. Yeah, I'm probably crazy. But I do enjoy fighting, a real lot, as long as I don't get hurt.

Our Head Instructor made a really funny observation a while ago; he imitated a guy when he gets kicked: looked really angry and said, "Hey! You want to kick me? I am going to kick you back HARDER!" and then he said, women are not like this; here's a woman fighting: he giggles and shakes his head back and forth, grins and laughes, "Ahh! you kicked me!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!" and jumps around and giggles some more like a girl. It's funny to see a 47-year old Korean guy who speaks broken English doing this.

I'm just going to keep writing tour reports because it will make me think I'm still on the road.

And I'm not. I'm sitting here, trying to decide what to eat for dinner, waiting for school to start. I don't even know what classes I'm going to take this semester.

Guess maybe I should get that damn candle out again.


August 20, 2002 - Champaign

Wow, I solved a problem today.

I got something working in 3D director today, in my little work program, and I was so excited that I emailed Ian from Fugazi because I was listening to their music when I solved the problem. He probably thinks I'm a freak now.

Wolfie, the tour manager from the Breeders, called us today because he's on tour with another band and he's in Chicago. I wish we could have driven up to see him, but it's too far away. It was so nice to hear him on the phone! I guess Mando punched him in the side the other day and he can hardly breathe. I told him I was going to beat Mando up the next time I saw him; I'll say, "This is for WOLFIE!" He called right when we were talking to Ruby from Austin, who was checking up on our haircuts. Either it's completely empty in this house, or the phone lines are jammed and people are knocking down the doors.

I cannot decide between a hard computer graphics course or a hard typography course for this coming semester. And it doesn't really matter anyway because They are telling me that I have to get a Rubella shot otherwise I am "encumbered" and cannot register for classes. And there's no way I'm getting a Rubella shot. I called our Health Center at the U of I and listened to the phone ring for about 400 times until I got to speak to some dolt lady who was eating into the phone. She admonished me sternly, "You will HAVE to talk to SOMEONE ELSE then" when I told her I wasn't taking a Rubella shot, and then she proceeded to transfer me to Food Sciences. The professor who had to talk to me at that point was so compassionate - he said, "oh poor thing. I'm so sorry they did this to you. But I thought you were trying to register for my class" - at that point I told him I'd register for his class if he wanted me to. He had such a kind voice.

Today Jane had her Wisdom Teeth removed

So now she's emailing me these short messages about how she's bleeding all over and doesn't notice it, and some stuff complaining that The Dentist's Office made her get a prescription for valium and it doesn't work and has just made her feel heavy. She doesn't like taking addictive medicine, I think. She had to take one last night and one today before the appointment. She called up The Dentist's Office to complain, and ask why she had to take one last night - and it didn't really affect her, either, she said, and they told her that she had to take the first one in order to make the second one work. And I don't want to know anything more than that. That kind of shit scares me.

I think if you're a martial artist, you are hypersensitive about parts of your body. You can really tell when something's just a bit different. At least I can.

I wonder if Jane's going to be stupid now, since her wisdom teeth were removed. Ha ha ha.


I wonder if there's a type of meditation that you can do where you count your mosquito bites.